Miley and Lilly are making a video of the new house for Mamaw. Lilly is filming Miley as she comes out from the main house and into the outside area.
MILEY
Okay, Mamaw. Now, you've seen the house, so now it's time to see the coolest room any senior has ever had. And by senior, I mean high-school senior, not old-people senior like you. (realizes what she has said) Not that you're old! Although, you do get the early-bird discounts and uh, not to worry about the world ending in twenty or thirty years, 'cause let's face it Mamaw, you probably won't be a--- say hi, Lilly!
Miley switches the view around so Lilly is in front of the camera, as a desperate diversion from finishing her sentence that wasn't thought through to well.
LILLY (nervous, waving at screen)
Uhhhh, hey! Mamaw. Uh, you'll have to forgive Miley, I mean, sometimes things come out of her mouth before she's ran them through the old noodle. (points at her head and laughs awkwardly) Anyway, uh, I bet you're just dying to see our room. (pause) And, when I say dying, I mean (energetic), "wooohooo, dying!", not dying like... (pretends to be dead) "beeeeeepppp."
Miley switches the view back to her face.
MILEY
Let's just show her the room.
LILLY (VO)
Good idea.
Miley marches off into what was last seen on screen as an empty barn. We see that it has been transformed into a stunning room, with two single beds, a few couches, and a sparkly chandelier hanging from the roof, a juke player, and various other snazzy accessories. As Lilly enters behind Miley, Miley takes the camera and waves it around.
MILEY
Ah-hah! Check it out, Mamaw. (shows accordingly) Here's: my bed, Lilly's bed, our funky chandelier, and SO MUCH MORE! (puts the camera in front of her face) Now, I know what you're thinking. Where's the Hannah closet?
Miley reaches down onto a nearby shiny sliver footrest and picks up a remote. She points it at the dressing table and it moves apart from the wall to reveal a secret closed off section. In the background, an electric guitar is heard. It's Lilly, sitting over on the bed going crazy with her instrument. Miley shows it on the recorder but then quickly brings it back to her face.
MILEY (to the camera)
I'll be right back.
Miley closes the camera and places it back down. She sneaks over to the amp behind where Lilly is playing and slowly takes out the plug. She sits on the amp as Lilly to sits up on the bed.
LILLY (sitting up)
Hey? Hey, what happened?
MILEY (pretending to be innocent)
I dunno, I dunno. I guess the amp blew.
LILLY (disappointed)
Oh dang.
As Lilly sits up, Miley gets her backpack from one of the couches and all of a sudden the window opens as a horse leans in.
ROBBY (VO pretending to be the horse)
Don't want to nag you girls, but if you don't want to be late for school, you might want to hoof it.
MILEY (annoyed more than amused)
Dad.
Robby comes into sight in front of the window, next to the horse.
ROBBY (joking around)
Get it? Huff it. 'Cause he's a horse.
MILEY (pretending as though she is humoured)
Right. Huff it. 'Cause he's a horse. (fake laughter, approaches Lilly and speaks under her breath:) Laugh, he paid for this room.
Miley and Lilly break out into fake laughter. Robby doesn't appear to notice and thinks it is genuine.
MILEY (as she and Lilly head for the door)
Hey, you know what? I don't wanna' go to school 'cause I just wanna' listen to your jokes all day. Yeah, always do, and...
LILLY (taps Miley on the shoulder)
Hey, he should be on a TV show, right?
MILEY
He should be on a TV show!
There's some indistinct adlibbing between Miley and Lilly as they continue to act humoured at Robby's joke. They walk out the door and Robby watches them go.
***
Miley and Lilly walk with pride through into the busy corridor for class registration at Seaview High.
MILEY
Excuse us. Seniors coming through!
LILLY (to no one in particular)
Ticket to our senior class schedules.
MILEY (to no one in particular)
And the senior's only line. (to a nearby girl) Which you're not in! Haha!
LILLY (to the girl)
We are!
Miley and Lilly make their way to the front of the class registration line.
MILEY (to Lilly)
And why is that?
LILLY/MILEY (loud and excited)
Because we're seniors!
They clap together with excitement, but when it starts to catch the attention of onlookers, Lilly signals for Miley to stop.
MILEY
Was that obnoxious?
LILLY
Well, yeah, but... it was senior obnoxious.
The scene takes an interesting turn as a small man dressed in a white tux comes walking through, followed by a group of harmonic singers (two women and one man). That's right - it's Rico. And he looks as spoilt as ever.
RICO (as he walks through, to everyone in the room)
Heyo!
Miley and Lilly roll their eyes as they see him.
MILEY
Oh, speaking of "Senor Obnoxius"...
Miley and Lilly walk over to Rico and his group.
RICO (clicks to his followers behind him)
Hit it.
RICO'S SINGERS
# He's the youngest senior Seaview's ever had.
RICO (spoken)
Yes I am!
RICO'S SINGERS
# He is super smart and has a wealthy dad.
RICO
Yes I do.
WOMAN #1
# He's a genius, he's got money.
WOMAN #2
# And you'd like to be his honey.
MAN #1
# (to Miley and Lilly) If you happened to be twins that would be rad.
Rico conducts the final part with his hands:
RICO'S SINGERS
# Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
RICO (to the women around him; proudly)
That’s right. If you're a freshman girl looking to senior-size your love life, the line starts here. (points to the floor beneath him)
MILEY (frustrated)
Rico?
RICO
I'm sorry, girls. I'm looking for someone with a little more cha-cha-cha.
MILEY
Sorry. I'm looking for someone who didn't steal their tux off the top of a wedding cake.
Miley walks off. Lilly gets up in Rico's face.
LILLY (teasingly)
Ooohhhhh. Cha-cha-cha.
Lilly walks off. Rico's face shows that he is annoyed, but he doesn't verbally respond.
INTERCOM VOICE (VO)
Freshman cheerleading tryouts in five minutes.
RICO (to his followers)
Team Rico, to the gym!
RICO'S SINGERS (shuffling)
# Hallelujah, Hallelujah!
RICO (pointing for them to go)
Now go again!
RICO'S SINGERS (shuffling)
# Hallelujah, Hallelujah!
Miley and Lilly watch Rico follow his singers through to the gym. It's finally their turn in line. The familiar voice of a not so favourite teacher, Ms Kunkle, is heard from the front.
MS KUNKLE
Next!
MILEY (stepping forward, excited)
Miley, "Senior" Stewart.
MS KUNKLE (not interested)
Karen, "Couldn't-care-less" Kunkle.
MILEY (aside to Lilly, about Ms Kunkle)
Not even she can spoil what is going to be, without a doubt, the greatest year of my life.
Ms Kunkle has just made a startling discovery by reading her student roll list. The image on her face shows that she is overwhelmed with joy as she tells Miley:
MS KUNKLE (trying to hide her smile)
Sorry Stewart, uh... according to this list, you're not a student here anymore.
MILEY (leaning down on the desk)
Teacher who just spoiled without a doubt the greatest year of my life say what?!
Ms Kunkle tilts her head sideways and smirks. Miley and Lilly exchange a glance of confusion.
***
OPENING CREDITS
***
Miley and Lilly are up the other end of the corridor. Miley is pacing around on the phone to her dad. Lilly is trying to listen in on what she can.
MILEY (on phone)
Dad, someone has a made a mistake. They're saying I'm not registered here in school anymore. You've gotta get down here! (pause) No, there is no time to blow-dry! (pause) Dad, what is more important? Your hair or my senior year? (pause) Oh, well, I'm sorry dad, but for me it's my senior year! Just, please get down here.
Miley hangs up.
LILLY (sad)
That is totally awful.
Joannie Palumbo, a friend of the girls, comes over holding her timetable.
JOANNIE (happy to see Lilly)
T-Bone! How's your schedule?
LILLY (enthused)
Totally awesome! (on Miley's look, nervous) In a tragically bittersweet way that tastes like sweaty socks in my mouth.
MILEY
Why did you have to go there?
LILLY (uncomfortably)
I dunno', I was nervous. Okay?
MILEY (holding up her finger, shouting)
This is not over. Somebody made a mistake, because I know that my dad...
***
Quick scene change to Miley and Robby sitting down in Principal Luger's Office, they are sitting in front of his desk. Robby is wearing a beanie over his hair.
ROBBY (finishing a sentence)
--absolutely mailed her registration in.
Principal Luger is looking at Robby with narrow eyes and a shifty facial expression.
PRINCIPAL LUGER
Interesting.
ROBBY
I took it to the post office myself, over a month ago.
PRINCIPAL LUGER
You don't say?
Robby sneezes.
ROBBY
Sorry about that. (emphasizing his annoyance to Miley) I had to leave the house with wet hair!
Miley rolls her eyes.
PRINCIPAL LUGER (pointing at Robby)
You seem like an honest man. (pause) Why don't I believe you? (pause, with more force this time) Why?
MILEY
Listen, Principal Luger. I know my dad looks a little bit shifty, you know, with the beanie, and the-and the chin carpet... but if my dad says he mailed, he mailed it. Because if there is one thing I know about my daddy, it's that...
But Robby has found an envelope in his jacket pocket...
ROBBY (taking out the envelope, guiltily)
Uh, Mile...
MILEY (thinking of an excuse)
That is not my daddy. (snatches envelope and stands) Who are you and why did you steal my registration? (to Principal Luger) Problem solved. (places envelope on desk) Here you go. I'll leave the intruder in your capable hands.
Miley turns around to leave, but Principal Luger picks up a remote from his desk and points it at the door. Three big locks, all underneath each other, click loudly as they shackle up. Miley watches them. Principal Luger laughs evilly. Miley looks at him with horror.
PRINCIPAL LUGER (after laughing)
I never get tired of that! Hahaha. (rough, to Miley, pointing at the seat) Sit down, missy!
MILEY
No problem.
Miley sits down again.
PRINCIPAL LUGER (forceful, pointing and various gestures)
Let me tell you two something. (gradually gets louder) Society has rules. One of those rules is, if you miss registration, you cannot register again until the second semester! The SECOND! Without rules like that, anyone can do anything they want. Huh? I could leap across this desk, throw you through a window, because I'm tired of people asking for SPECIAL TREATMENT! (suddenly calm, holds up his arms as if surrendering) But I'm not gonna do that. (pause) Wanna' know why I'm not gonna' do that? Huh? Because...society has...(prompting Miley and Robby to finish)
MILEY/ROBBY
...rules.
Principal Luger gives a snicker of satisfaction.
PRINCIPAL LUGER (to Robby, confronting)
Now aren't you happy about that, Mr Hippy-Dippy Nit Kap guy?
Miley and Robby exchange a glance.
ROBBY (aside to Miley)
What happened to that nice principal, Mr Weeby?
Miley points over at a skeleton hanging on a rack in the corner of the office (obviously from the science department)
MILEY (nervously pointing at the skeleton, though not serious)
I think that might be Mr Weeby.
***
Miley opens the front door to the house and steps inside, going straight to the couch. Robby walks through to the kitchen.
MILEY
This is so unfair! I'm gonna miss senior ski trip, senior prom, and senior picture day. (places her bag on the couch) And thanks to you, now the first senior lunch with Pudding Priority. (sits down) Spent three years of tapioca, it was finally gonna' be creamy butterscotch.
ROBBY
You don't even like butterscotch.
MILEY
It's like you've never been young, dad.
ROBBY
Don't worry about it honey, it's all (???) for. I'll just call the Superintendent of Schools.
MILEY
Superintendent? (walks into the kitchen with Robby) Dad, that is small thinking. Tiny-tiny forgetting to mail my registration thinking. (stretches out her arms) This is a BIG problem and it needs a BIG solution.
Miley gets out her phone and starts to dial in a number.
ROBBY
Oh, who are you gonna call? (with a smirk) The governor?
MILEY
Please, I am not that dumb. (raises phone to her ear) Ya, hello, Whitehouse? (Robby looks disgruntled) I'd like to speak with the President. It's Hannah Montana. (pause) Oh, sure, I'll hold. (lowers phone and walks across room) See that, daddy? Senior thinking. (raises phone to her ear again) What?! What do you mean he's busy? I was (???) busy when I carved out time to sing for his kids! (the receiver hangs up) Hello? Hello? (she hangs up) Oh, man. I even let one of their friends braid my wig. And she was a nose-picker.
Miley opens the back door and steps outside. Robby watches her leave.
ROBBY
I wondered who put that booga on my boot.
Meanwhile, Jackson has been upstairs with his "friend" Sienna, the bikini model, from next door. They walk down into the living room together. Sienna is hugging a few DVDs.
SIENNA
Thank you so much for loaning me these movies. I still can't believe a guy would own My Best Friend's Wedding, 27 Dresses, and Mamma Mia.
JACKSON (shrugging)
Please. Maril Streep doing Abba, I'm not ashamed to say: I cried.
Robby is watching from the kitchen, and looks disappointed when he hears Jackson lying.
SIENNA (impressed)
You're just the sweetest thing.
They head for the front door.
JACKSON
Not as sweet as Zac Efron in 17 Again!
SIENNA (turning back, excited)
Don't you just love that?!
JACKSON
I DID!
There is a small, awkward pause in the conversation.
SIENNA
Thanks.
JACKSON
You're welcome.
There is another pause. Sienna stares at Jackson as though she's waiting for something.
JACKSON (shy)
I'll just get the door.
Jackson leaps to the front door and pulls it open for Sienna. She goes outside and they stare at each other for a bit.
SIENNA (nervous)
Bye.
JACKSON (even more nervous, with a cheeky grin)
Bye.
Sienna looks somewhat disappointed as she turns and walks away. Jackson looks embarrassed as he closes the door and turns back inside. Robby walks over to him.
ROBBY
Sweet Pete son, that girl was melting for you like butter on a stack of Flap-Jacks! Ask her out already.
JACKSON
Uh, for your information, I have asked her out. (taps his head) In here. (sits down on the couch) And it went great. She laughed at all my jokes, told me I was a great kisser, AND paid for dinner. (pointing at his head) It is NICE in here.
ROBBY
Son, let me explain something to you. (sits down with Jackson, talks slowly) It might be a lot more satisfying if you ask her out (holds his arms out) out here.
JACKSON
And if she were a normal girl, I would. But dad, we're talking about Sienna. A girl in fashion magazines, a girl who models (stuttering) B-b-bikinis. And-and even if by some miracle she did go out with me, it would probably go a little something like this:
Jackson leans forward as he narrates the supposed "future" where he and Sienna go on date. The screen fades into a scene down at The Pier. Jackson and Sienna are sitting at a table together as people walk past, drinking. Sienna acts over attractive.
JACKSON (VO)
We're sitting at a table, having pizza. (Jackson in the vision sticks the straw from his drink up his nostril) I'm trying to be funny. (Sienna laughs and hits him) She's pretending I am. Everything's great. Then I say:
JACKSON IN THE VISION
I have to hit the can.
JACKSON (VO)
She says: (girly voice) "hurry back". I walk away, then turn to give her a cute, but manly, be right back wave, and this is what I see.
Jackson in the vision sees that Sienna is crowded by a group of boys when he turns to give her the "wave".
JACKSON (VO)
I try to get through to her.
Jackson in the vision runs over to the group and tries to jump over them to get back to his date, but with no luck.
JACKSON (VO) [CONT'D]
...But to no avail. She's gone...
The vision ends as the screen fades back to the present, with Robby looking at disgust to the floor and Jackson staring out into space. The doorbell rings. Being the closest, Jackson jumps up and answers it. Sienna is standing on the opposite side with her hands on her hips.
JACKSON
Hey.
Robby walks over. Sienna comes right on in, looking determined.
SIENNA (with determination)
Look. I've dated rock stars, pro-athletes, even a prince, and I've NEVER had to ask a guy out before. EVER. In my life. I don't know how to do it. (despairingly) Help me.
Jackson stares at her with a blank expression, he doesn't know how to respond. Robby notices and comes to give him a nudge on the elbow.
ROBBY (somewhat silently)
Son, I think she just asked you out.
Jackson turns to Robby.
JACKSON (taping his head)
In here?
Sienna answers that one.
SIENNA
No. (pointing around) Out here.
Jackson is so happy he is again back to square one of not knowing how to respond. He looks at her smiling, and Robby, after a moment or so, pulls down on his head to make him nod. Jackson laughs and starts to close the door on Sienna.
SIENNA (as the door is closed)
Oh, wait, just... wait...
Jackson is so caught up in the moment he closes the door fully and stares at his father with a delightful expression.
***
Later on in the evening, Miley is lying down backwards on her bed moaning miserably. Lilly is at the dressing table looking in a hand-held mirror as she applies make up for the party.
LILLY
You know, I don't have to go to the senior pier party tonight. I mean, just stay the word and I'll stay here with you. (puts on lipstick and presses her lips together)
Miley looks up.
MILEY (quite saddened that she is unable to attend)
No, it's fine. Go.
Lilly gets some perfume and sprays it around her body.
LILLY (not truthful)
Well, all right, but I probably won't have a good time.
Lilly walks over to Miley's side.
MILEY (miserable)
No, don't let the fact that my life is ruined spoil your senior fun. Go. (almost demanding) Enjoy!!
Miley buries her head in her bed again. Lilly stops and looks at Miley for a moment, almost considering whether she should stay or not...
LILLY (cheerful)
Okay!
Lilly skips on outside and as she closes the door starts singing a small tune. But she stops in her tracks and a look of guilt embellishes her face. She looks back at her room, and with a sigh and rolling of eyes, marches right back in to Miley.
LILLY
Oh, forget it. (Miley looks up from her position) I'm not going without my best friend.
MILEY (sitting up)
Really?
LILLY
Yeah. I mean, they may be able to keep you out of school, but they can't keep you out of football games, or homecoming dances, or Senior Night at The Pier.
MILEY (pointing at Lilly)
You know what? You are right. I have given the best three years of my life to that school, I deserve to be there just as much as everybody else. I mean, what are they going to do? Throw me out? Pfft.
LILLY
Throw you out?
***
And sure enough, down at The Pier, Miley is being dragged out backwards away from the party by two tough looking security guards.
MILEY (as she is dragged)
You can't throw me out!!
Lilly steps in front of the guards dragging her away. People around start watching.
LILLY (pointing at the guards)
That's right. You're gonna have to go through me. And I'd like to see you do that.
Without hesitation, the guard picks Lilly up and carries her off his shoulder. They continue to walk off.
LILLY (as she is taken)
Oh, I had to ask.
MILEY (screaming)
I WILL BE A SENIOR!!!
People watch as they are dragged out of sight.
***
Principal Luger is sitting in his office talking to a student, who cannot yet be seen.
PRINCIPAL LUGER
The rule is, if you haven't registered for the first semester, you're just gonna' have to wait until the second semester.
A zoom out from Principal Luger's position reveals that Hannah Montana, Miley's alter-ego, is sitting in the chair opposite him. She looks to the floor for a moment and then back up.
PRINCIPAL LUGER [CONT'D] (with happy expression)
But rules are for schnooks!
Hannah and Principal Luger laugh together.
PRINCIPAL LUGER [CONT'D]
It would be such an honour to have you a part of our senior class, Miss Montana.
HANNAH (standing)
Oh, please. Call me Hannah.
PRINCIPAL LUGER
Hannah.
He laughs again. Hannah hands Principal Luger a signed poster of herself as he stands also.
HANNAH
Hope your daughter likes the photo.
As soon as Principal Luger sets eyes on the poster, his face lights up with expression.
PRINCIPAL LUGER (smiling, excited)
She's gonna love it!!! WOOOO!
They laugh. Principal Luger holds up the photo at Hannah's side.
PRINCIPAL LUGER (comparing the photo and the real Hannah)
Uhhh, look at that.
HANNAH (embarrassed)
Look at that...
Hannah grins to herself.
***
The meeting between Principal Luger and Hannah is almost finished. Hannah is standing ready to leave with her backpack.
PRINCIPAL LUGER (says 'Hannah' with emphasis)
Is there anything else I can do for you, Hannah?
HANNAH
Nope, just want to be treated like a normal student.
Hannah starts to head for the door.
PRINCIPAL LUGER
Oh, as far as I'm concerned, you're just another kid in the hall.
Before Hannah can leave, Principal Luger gets out his cell phone and leans in next to Hannah to take a photo.
HANNAH
Oh...?
PRINCIPAL LUGER
I-I do that with all the new students. (looking at the photo he just took) Oh, oh one more. I got crazzzyyy eyes in this one!
Once again, Hannah poses for a photo with him.
PRINCIPAL LUGER
Say, "senior"!
HANNAH (fake enthusiasm)
Senior!
PRINCIPAL LUGER (as he takes the photo)
Aahhhhhh.
HANNAH (turning away)
Let's go.
Principal Luger opens the door for Hannah. As she steps outside into the corridor, she is noticed instantly and a group of students nearby rush over to her. She hides behind Principal Luger who addresses the matter.
PRINCIPAL LUGER (firmly to the students, holding up a finger)
Ahhhhhh! Hannah Montana wants to be treated like a regular student.
HANNAH (leans close to Principal Luger)
Except no PE.
PRINCIPAL LUGER
Except no PE! Other than that, a regular girl. (points at a nearby boy and they all lean back) A. Regular. Girl.
A flick of his hands is enough indication for the students to walk away. He turns back to Hannah.
PRINCIPAL LUGER
Well, that should do it. And, uh, if that doesn't work, you could always try putting on a wig and pretending to be somebody else!
Principal Luger, of course, was only joking and walks back into his office. Hannah laughs until he can't see her face anymore and she mocks the coincidence.
***
The bell for class rings, and Hannah is leaning up against her locker - only by force, though, because she is crowded by a group of students. You can't even see her face.
HANNAH (VO)
All right guys, off to class. Don't want to be Hannah-mon-tarty. (they all laugh) All right, all right. Just, seriously, go to class.
The students finally walk off, and Hannah gets some breathing space. Just as she stretches, Sarah comes over.
HANNAH
Hi.
SARAH (stammering, pointing)
Ha-Ha-Han-Han...
Hannah covers Sarah's mouth with her hand.
HANNAH
Ne'ighhhh! Look, I am just a NORMAL senior, having a NORMAL moment with another NORMAL senior. Okay, NORMAL SENIOR, uh... I'm really looking forward to working on the senior float. What about you?
Hannah releases her hand from Sarah's mouth and she is still trying to get her head around everything.
SARAH (stammering)
M-M-M-Mon-Mont-Mont-Mont...
HANNAH
Oh, boy.
Hannah pats Sarah on the head and walks off. Sarah watches her go, still stammering.
***
Hannah is sitting down at a table in the cafeteria for lunch, surrounded by the faces of staring students. Lilly is beside her, and both of them look uncomfortable.
HANNAH
This is nice. Real cosy.
LILLY (uneased)
Yeah, see if you feel that way when you have to go to the bathroom.
HANNAH
No, actually, I already tried that. Wasn't that bad. Hey, I've never got the (???) in there before, ah?
The students around laugh. Over at the opposite table, Joannie is sitting down trying to eat her lunch with Sarah standing at her side, pestering.
SARAH
Joannie, would you tell her I like her top?
JOANNIE
You tell her. I don't even like HER.
SARAH (high pitched, grabbing Joannie)
Plllllleeeeeassssseeee??????
JOANNIE
Wow, you're annoying.
Joannie stands and approaches the crowd gathered around Hannah. Sarah stands behind watching.
SARAH
Thank you.
JOANNIE (pushing people aside)
Out of my way. Out of my way!
Joannie has finally pushed enough people away to be in proper contact with Hannah.
HANNAH
Hey Joannie. (realizes what she has said) ...I'm guessing!
Joannie's true colours finally show. She leaps back to Sarah with a scream of excitement.
JOANNIE (screaming, excited)
She knows my name! She knows my name! She knows my name!
SARAH
I thought you didn't like her.
JOANNIE
Her star power could ride through my macho façade.
Hannah grabs up her backpack and walks over to Sarah and Joannie with a smile.
HANNAH (friendly)
Hey guys.
Joannie and Sarah scream with excitement and jump back. The students around watch.
HANNAH
No, no. Please. No reason to freak out, I mean, I just wanna' talk. You know? Senior to senior.
SARAH
I love your top!
HANNAH
Thanks. I love yours to.
Joannie reaches for Sarah's top and starts to pull it off.
JOANNIE
You can have it!
Hannah covers her eyes.
HANNAH
No-no-no! I meant on her, I meant on her! It was just a compliment. Please. I mean, it's just like how I (turning to face the student body behind her) like, you know, (points to different students), her top, her jacket, her jeans... (looks up as she hears some ripping) Uh-oh...
The students have started ripping off the various pieces of clothing Hannah complimented. She races to the door for protection.
HANNAH
No! Argh! Argh! People, people! Mind your (???)... oh. Pucker up!
Hannah opens the door desperately and runs out to the corridor as her chance of escape from the clothes being chucked at her.
***
Hannah walks through to the next corridor and is stopped in her tracks when Rico's singers appear in front of her.
RICO'S SINGERS
# Oooooooohhhhhmmmmmmmm.
Rico himself, still in a white tux, steps out in front of Hannah. He uses hand gestures as he talks to her.
RICO (with passion)
I know how you feel.
RICO'S SINGERS
# He's a sensitivvvvvveeee mannnnnnn.
RICO (to Hannah)
We are the same, you and I.
RICO'S SINGERS
# Two hearts beat as oooooonnnnneeeeee. OOOOOhhhhhhh.
Hannah looks at the singers with a bizarre look.
RICO
Both of us looking for love.
As the choir people start to sing, Rico conducts to himself.
RICO'S SINGERS
# HEIGGGHHHHTTTT doesn't matter.
WOMAN SINGER #1
Cause he's got a ladder.
She goes and places a white step ladder in front of Hannah. Rico steps onto it and is now at Hannah's height.
RICO (with cheekiness)
Hiya', tuts. (flicks his tie) Remember me?
Rico would obviously be referring to the events of the second season finale. Hannah looks up to the heavens, she is not enjoying herself.
HANNAH
Are you enjoying yourself up there?
Rico embraces Hannah in a hug. She yelps and can't resist Rico's strength.
RICO'S SINGERS
# Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Hannah uses her hand to signify for the singers to shut up! And they do so.
***
Jackson and Sienna are sitting down at a table on The Pier, having their date. Sienna is wearing an elegant red dress. They have a cup of soft drink each. Through Jackson's table manner, it is quite obvious that he is desperate for the toilet. He looks around anxiously as the man comes and places their pizza on the table. Jackson watches him go, as if expecting something.
SIENNA (looking at her slice of pizza)
This is the greasiest carb-loaded, calorie-packed thing any guy has ever ordered for me. (takes a bite, talks through a mouthful) Thank you SOOOO much!
JACKSON (shaking)
Yep, nothing like a good PEpperoni...uh, I mean Pepperoni Piz...P-P... Italian food.
SIENNA
Jackson, do you need to use the restroom?
JACKSON (shaking)
Whaaaaaaa?!!! And leave you here alone and unprotected?
Over at the next table, there is a girl slurping at the bottom of her soft drink cup. This is really starting to get on Jackson's nerves.
JACKSON (to the slurping girl, irritated)
Do you mind?!!!!! We're trying to have a conversation here!!!!!!
Sienna places an arm on Jackson.
SIENNA
Jackson, please, for me. Go.
JACKSON
Yeah, yeah you're right. I-I'm being silly. I'll just go. (stands awkwardly) Um... but I'll be right back. (to the blokes around) Really, really fast! Like a flash! Whiz, bam, boom! (to Sienna) Uh, but not the boom, just the uh...
SIENNA
I'll see you in a minute.
JACKSON
Forty-five seconds.
Jackson turns and races for the bathroom.
***
…and he comes running back out still holding toilet paper to find that his worst nightmare has become a reality. Sienna is surrounded by every other guy that was standing around before he left.
JACKSON (as he comes around the corner)
I'm back! I'm...(sees she is surrounded) Oh.
Jackson shrugs and is about to turn away, before Sienna stands up and whistles really loudly to the boys around her.
SIENNA (standing after her whistle)
You guys. Back off! (Jackson looks back) I'm on a date. (pushes past the guys around her and goes to Jackson) With a guy I really like.
Jackson looks around with a dashing pride on his face.
JACKSON
That would be me, boys! (to Sienna) That would be me, right?
Sienna takes Jackson's hand and leans in to give him a kiss on the cheek.
SIENNA
Does that answer your question?
Jackson smiles.
***
Miley is sitting on her bed with her legs crossed, guitar at her side, as she is writing in her notepad. She starts to sing "Ordinary Girl". The music continues as a VO while Miley gets out on her horse and goes for a ride around the ranch. After a minute of this footage, Miley comes back to the living area outside the house and brings her horse back in. Robby is in the kitchen and comes out to have a chat with her.
ROBBY
Mile? What are you doing here? I figured Hannah would be signing up for yearbook committee, or working on the homecoming float or something.
MILEY (deeply saddened in her tone)
They don't want Hannah to work on the homecoming float, dad. They want her to stand on it and sing. Dad, I can't go back there. (Robby follows her through to the couch outside) Hannah is never gonna be treated like an ordinary girl. I'm never gonna be like one of them.
ROBBY
Now why does that surprise you? I mean, that's why we came up with Hannah Montana in the first place.
MILEY
I know, but...(sits down) Now I'm gonna have to wait a whole semester until I can be a real senior and do all the really cool senior stuff.
ROBBY
Like what?
MILEY (sad)
I don't know 'cause I won't be there.
Robby tilts his head and sits down beside his daughter.
ROBBY
'Mile, I am sad that you won't be working on the homecoming float. But not even Hannah Montana gets everything she wants. (nudges Miley) Though, Hannah did get to spend the entire summer touring Europe. And, though you won't be on yearbook committee, Hannah did get to meet the President of the United States.
MILEY (about the President)
Who doesn't return my calls.
ROBBY
Yeah. Well, 'darlin, I know it's frustrating, not being an ordinary girl, but that's just the price you pay for being an extraordinary girl.
Robby places an arm around Miley and they lean back on the couch, hugging. There is a moment of silence.
MILEY
You did email in my registration for second semester, right?
Robby suddenly looks guilty on his face. He's forgotten! He releases his grip from Miley and pats her on the head.
ROBBY
I'll be right back.
Robby jumps up and runs off towards the house again. Miley sits by herself.
***
In the morning before school, Miley is standing at the door and hands Lilly her backpack.
MILEY
Have fun at school.
LILLY (no energy)
I won't.
MILEY
You're lying.
LILLY (still no energy)
I know.
Robby steps up towards the piano after observing the girls conversation. He has a mug of coffee.
ROBBY
Same old 'thang every morning.
Lilly opens the front door and the President, as in Barack Obama, steps through.. Lilly steps back in alarm and bows. There are security guards behind him.
LILLY (shocked)
(gasps) Oh, man! Mr Man! Mr President! Your majesty! (bows)
BARACK OBAMA (to Miley, who is smiling)
Miley, sorry I couldn't take your call. But I got your message. And you're back in school.
Lilly looks back up with surprise. Miley looks humble, and Robby just watches.
MILEY (gratefully)
Thank you so much, Mr President.
LILLY (under her breath to Miley)
Wait a minute, he knows the secret?!
MILEY
Lilly, he's the leader of the free world.
BARACK OBAMA
That's right. And I know secrets that would blow your mind. (pause) Lola.
Lilly leans back and gasps. Barack Obama points back at Robby.
BARACK OBAMA (to Robby)
And you. You might want to stop sneaking down in the middle of the night for pie.
Robby looks down at his waistline. Barack Obama and his security guards walk out.
ROBBY (with a grin, looking at Miley and Lilly)
Hey, he's good.
Miley stares at Robby bizarrely, and Lilly looks at the door and waves to Barack Obama as he walks off.
***
Hannah Montana © Walt Disney. No infringement is intended through the transcription of this episode originally written by Steven James Meyer.
